WHITE HOUSE REPORTS THAT WHEN BUSH SAID "IRAQ'S WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION" REPEATEDLY, EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR, HE ACTUALLY MEANT "GAY SOCCER-PLAYING ELEPHANTS"

LONELY MAN IN BENTON, OKLAHOMA HONKY TONK, SITTING ALONE IN THE CORNER THINKING OF LOST FRIENDS, LOOKS UP FROM HIS BEER GLASS TO SEE WALKING TOWARDS HIM AN EBULLIENT, SLIGHTLY DRUNK HOWARD DEAN

200,000 Caribou Form Pro-Lichen PAC

Manhattan All-A-Twitter

Small, Disagreeable Boy, Widely Disliked, Plots Revenge Using Rocket Blimp

American Unclear: Which Carolina, Carolina Panthers?

As Ratings Decline, Superbowl May be Downgraded to GoodCup

$1200 Computer Used to Replace Post-Its