Saturday, May 10, 2008

U.S. SUPREME COURT AWARDS ALASKAN OIL SPILL VICTIMS 10.2 BILLION IN EXXON-MOBIL "FUNBUCKS"

CLINTON TO OBAMA: EXCUSE ME, YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR


PERFORMANCE ARTIST SKATING EDGE WITH "WHY I OWE NO TAXES" INSTALLATION


PROBLEM-SOLVING ROBOTS HIT SNAG ON PROBLEM OF NEW PROBLEM CREATION


ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC LOSES LEASE


GHOST OF ORVILLE REDDENBACHER SPRINKLING BUTTER FLAVORING ON THE LIVING


SCIENTISTS: GOOGLING "GOOGLE" MAY DESTROY INTERNET


A DRUNKEN ALAN GREENSPAN INSTIGATES, LOSES FISTFIGHT WITH TOLL BOOTH ATTENDANT


LOW-SELF ESTEEM ARCHITECT ADDS DECORATIVE PIT TO COMMISSIONED HOLE


DETAINEES PROTEST RADIOS WHICH ONLY BROADCAST PLEDGE DRIVES



IN TODAY'S URGENT HEADLINES OPINION, BY GENERAL MUSHARAFF: "RETURNING DEMOCRACY WAS A BAD IDEA"