Thursday, August 28, 2008

TABLOID SAYS THEY HAVE 78 SECOND RACHEL RAY SEX TAPE


CARMEN SANDIEGO CAPTURED AFTER WORLD-WIDE SEARCH; WILL BE CHARGED WITH WAR CRIMES


PORTLAND CYCLIST SURVIVES CRASH ONLY TO BE KILLED BY PACK OF ENRAGED HYENAS


JOHN EDWARDS REGRETS AFFAIR WITH JOHN McCAIN


SNEAKY GIRLFRIEND UNLEASHES SECRET PRESENT-INDUCING CAMPAIGN


UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS DISCOVER GENE WHICH CAUSES SLIGHT ANNOYANCE AT APPARENT WASTE OF PRECIOUS SCIENCE RESOURCES


POLYAMOROUS MARIN COUNTY ORGY INTERRUPTED BY EARNEST DEMOCRATIC PARTY ORGANIZERS


SCIENTISTS UNVEIL ROBOT FRIEND DESIGNED TO NEVER TOTALLY BAIL ON YOU


WEIGHING ASPECTS CAREFULLY, MAN AT 7-11 CONCLUDES WASABI CHIPS WILL PROVIDE BEST TEMPORARY RELIEF FROM GNAWING DESPAIR



IN A TODAY'S URGENT HEADLINES WEATHER: OUTLOOK GREAT FOR PINEAPPLE SEASON IN SIBERIA

Saturday, August 09, 2008

IN DRAMATIC TURN, DICK CHENEY CLAIMS TO BE BARACK OBAMA'S FATHER


RASH OF BEAR ATTACKS IN ALASKA ATTRIBUTED TO RISE IN CAVE FORECLOSURES


BUSH POLL REPORTS APPROVAL OF 1: A CERTAIN MR. TOM PRICKSON, UNEMPLOYED LOCKSMITH, OF SCRANTON, PA.


SCIENTISTS' REVIEW OF LITERATURE REVEALS COMPLEX PERSONAL MOTIVATIONS


STUDY: AMERICA NOT PREPARED FOR EXTENDED PERIOD OF SENSIBLE PUBLIC POLICY


BILL CLINTON POPS UP AS NEW PRESIDENT OF CHAD


FAKE BLUETOOTH SET COMPANY TARGETS SCHIZOPHRENIC DEMOGRAPHIC


MAN PREPARING 7-11 HOT DOG ABOUT TO FACE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS


ADORABLE KITTENS FAIL IN TELEKINETIC ATTEMPT TO PRODUCE NUMMIES