Monday, July 28, 2008

BILL GATES SEEN CRUNK AT RENTON 7-11, TOSSING PLASTIC LAWN CHAIRS AT PASSING CARS


SCIENTISTS URGENTLY WORKING TO CRACK GENETIC CODE FOR ANGELINA JOLIE


McCAIN UNVEILS PROPOSAL TO EXTEND DAYLIGHT NAPPING TIME


HILARIOUS JOKE ON GAS PRICES THWARTED BY SEX


STUDY: U.S. NOW A SAD, LONELY SUPERPOWER


ROBOT PORN SPREADS SEEN AT LOWE'S


FLEEING KARL ROVE LEADS COPS IN CHASE THROUGH TRI-COUNTY AREA, DEATH TOLL NEARING 27


NODDING SOLEMNLY, OBAMA QUIETLY APPROVES HIS OWN MEMORIAL DESIGN


ADORABLE KITTENS UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND SIMPLE DVR INSTRUCTIONS

Thursday, July 17, 2008

BUSH CAUGHT IN LINCOLN BEDROOM TRYING TO APPROVE HIMSELF


JOHN MCCAIN FORCED TO DENY ADULTERY WITH GEORGIA WOMAN SPY DURING BATTLE OF ANTIETAM


DIESEL ROBOTS TO SAVE FUEL BY ARM-SHARING


UNIV. OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS ESTIMATE WASTED 147 MILLION U.S. MAN-HOURS EACH SUMMER CAUSED BY GIRLS STRETCHING


ADORABLE KITTENS FACE CHALLENGE WITHDRAWING FROM PAPER SACK


FACING POLAR MELTING, POLAR BEARS' INVESTMENT GROUP MAKES ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE CRUISE SHIP


BILL GATES RETIRING TO CATCH UP ON "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA"


NEW HONDA RUNS ON INEXPENSIVE MILK


SCIENTISTS: GOOGLING "GOOGLE" MAY DESTROY INTERNET