BUSH CAUGHT IN LINCOLN BEDROOM TRYING TO APPROVE HIMSELF

JOHN MCCAIN FORCED TO DENY ADULTERY WITH GEORGIA WOMAN SPY DURING BATTLE OF ANTIETAM

DIESEL ROBOTS TO SAVE FUEL BY ARM-SHARING

UNIV. OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS ESTIMATE WASTED 147 MILLION U.S. MAN-HOURS EACH SUMMER CAUSED BY GIRLS STRETCHING

ADORABLE KITTENS FACE CHALLENGE WITHDRAWING FROM PAPER SACK

FACING POLAR MELTING, POLAR BEARS' INVESTMENT GROUP MAKES ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE CRUISE SHIP

BILL GATES RETIRING TO CATCH UP ON "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA"

NEW HONDA RUNS ON INEXPENSIVE MILK

SCIENTISTS: GOOGLING "GOOGLE" MAY DESTROY INTERNET