Wednesday, October 29, 2008

DESPERATE FED GIVES JIMMY'S PAWN SHOP $354 BILLION


HALF-WIT ZINGS QUARTER WIT


EMBARASSED ROBOTS NOW SEEKING OTHER TYPES OF PHONE WORK


401(k) now 201(b)


REPORT: IS ALASKA THE NEW WEST VIRGINIA?


McCAIN HANGING ON TO PRO-MELANOMA VOTE


PALIN SHARPLY QUESTIONED BY PACK OF ENRAGED HYENAS


HOOTER'S MAKES VICE-PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT


MCCAIN CALLS FOR PUDDING


REPORT: SARAH PALIN ATTENDED FIVE DIFFERENT SECOND GRADES


McCAIN STATEMENT "I HATE WAR" UNDERMINED BY PROFOUND LOVE OF WAR


UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS MAKE TENTATIVE IDENTIFICATION OF POPULAR ENGLISH PROFESSOR WHO TOOK PARKING SPACE


CARMEN SANDIEGO CAPTURED AFTER WORLD-WIDE SEARCH; WILL BE CHARGED WITH WAR CRIMES


IN A TODAY'S URGENT HEADLINES WEATHER: LOOK OUT!