CREDIBLE REPORTS SURFACE OF BUSH WANDERING ROOMS, BANGING HEAD ON WALL, GOING 'DUH,' 'DUH, 'DUH' AS CHENEY, WEARING TOP HAT AND CAPE, TWIRLS SPINDLY MOUSTACHE
Robot Scientists Report Indisputable Superiority of Robot Scientists
PROPOSED U.S. INVASION OF DAKOTAS UNDER LAST-MINUTE REVIEW
Original Norwegian Bison Snubbing American Bison
EPA To Clamp Down On Oppressive Darkness, Leafy Mess of Trees
Halliburton To Buy Atmosphere, Supply Air in No-Bid Contract
Phil Knight Issues Modest Proposal To Raise Average Wages by Eating More Asian Children
Thai Copier Clerk Struggles Against His Own Irrational Fear of Toner
Reports of Uma Thurman's Public Nudity Widely, Widely Hailed
U.S. Strategy in Afghanistan: Roll All 3 Dice, Invade Middle East And Collect A Card
In Bush Mars Plan Science Briefing, President Informed that Astronauts Cannot Just Borrow Important Stuff Like Water From The Martians
French Threaten Embargo on U.S. French-Kissing
In Unusual Move, Christina Aguillera Keeps it On
Tang Stock Up 847%
Brevity: Wit
University of Michigan Study: Britany Spears Only Somewhat Attractive; Confusion May Possibly Stem from Shameless Sluttiness
Seattle Parking Cop Maintains Deep Faith in Principle of Overall Parking Availability