Teen Disputes Future Rewarding Career as East Lansing Dental Assistant
Left in Car for 3 Minutes, Cute Puppy Purported Anxious, Chewing on Seat Belt
University of Robots' Robot Scientists' Survey of Insurance Practices Reveals Insurance Companies Sucking Human Life Dry as the Kalahari
Newspaper Decline Forces Superhero Alter-Egos Out of Super News Biz, Into Super-Stocking at Home Depot
5' 1", 102 lb Woman buys SUV With Intent of Crushing Enemies
Decades of Loyal Company Service Rewarded With Momentary Indifferent Betrayal
Manilla TV Reporter Relentless in Pursuit of Michael Jackson Press Conference Seat
Godzilla Countered With Early Retirement Bonus
'EXTRA SUPERMEAT PLUS' EYED AS POSSIBLE MEAT ALTERNATIVE
Hummer Customer Goes For Hummer 2 as More Eco-Friendly
Adorable Kittens Concerned About Cute Puppy Reports
Rampaging Vikings Go Straight for Amsterdam
Safeway Begins Indentured Associatude Program
With Biology Research Grant, University of Robots Robot Scientists Attach Radio Collars to Marketing Goons