Friday, January 16, 2004

Teen Disputes Future Rewarding Career as East Lansing Dental Assistant

Left in Car for 3 Minutes, Cute Puppy Purported Anxious, Chewing on Seat Belt

University of Robots' Robot Scientists' Survey of Insurance Practices Reveals Insurance Companies Sucking Human Life Dry as the Kalahari

Newspaper Decline Forces Superhero Alter-Egos Out of Super News Biz, Into Super-Stocking at Home Depot

5' 1", 102 lb Woman buys SUV With Intent of Crushing Enemies

Decades of Loyal Company Service Rewarded With Momentary Indifferent Betrayal

Manilla TV Reporter Relentless in Pursuit of Michael Jackson Press Conference Seat

Godzilla Countered With Early Retirement Bonus


Hummer Customer Goes For Hummer 2 as More Eco-Friendly

Adorable Kittens Concerned About Cute Puppy Reports

Rampaging Vikings Go Straight for Amsterdam

Safeway Begins Indentured Associatude Program

With Biology Research Grant, University of Robots Robot Scientists Attach Radio Collars to Marketing Goons