ADORABLE KITTENS MISPLACE WINTER SPORTING EQUIPMENT

Adopting Assertive Business Model, Halliburton Announces Plan to Crash Earth Into the Sun

Uma Thurman About to Take Stage at Golden Globe Awar....-Great Googly-Moogly!

Potatoes Rebranded In Marketing Effort: Mealinex, Oral Treatment for Hunger

Freak Storm of Gummi Worms on Phoenix Blamed on Liberalism

Nike Adsters, Wieden and Kennedy, Tapped for Hip, Edgy Pro-Brazilian Child Death Squad Campaign

Story of Cheney's Chilling, Manical Laughter During Swiss World Econ. Summit Surpressed by Major News Outlets

Author of The Da Vinci Code Unable to Stop Staring at Magic Painting

White House Slams Kerry for Not Saving More Men in Vietnam

Incredibly Effective New-Atkins Style Diet is Based on Nutritious Penguin Eggs, Manatee Fat, Mammoth Steaks

Mild Inflationary Pressure Pushes 7-11 into Chapter 8-12

Paris Hilton To Donate Virginity to Charity