Big Bush Moon Plan May Boost True Moon Boot Units

Mike Meyers Leases Forehead

HOLY CRAP! VATICAN CITY WATER TREATMENT BONDS DISCUSSION SLATED

Joe Lieberman Didn't Want to But Had to Issue Dean Another Detention Slip

Ann Coulter Announces Difficult, Personal Decision to Finally Become A Woman

Adorable Kittens In Talks With Teamsters

Mike Holmgren Hopping from Gallery to Gallery in Desperate Art Binge (Real! - Your Correspondent)

UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STUDY: REPUBLICAN ACTORS UNIFORMLY UNABLE TO ACT

Badger Hopes for Emotional Breakthrough in Weasel Family Group Therapy

U.S. INTELLIGENCE LOCATES AND DIFFERENTIATES HOLE IN GROUND

BUSH MOVES AHEAD WITH BIG MOON PLAN AFTER SCIENCE BRIEFING THAT ON LANDING, MOON WILL NOT SHATTER AND BREAK AND THEN GO OUT

U.S. Corporation Agrees to Pay Turnpike Toll

National Identity Crisis Looms as Branding Nears Market Saturation

S.P.E.C.T.R.E. HIRING 23,000 REPLACEMENT NUCLEAR TECHNICIANS

Successful Lumberjack Dogged By Persistent Anachronistic Feelings

MUMBAI STREET VENDOR DAYDREAMS OF VCR TO REWIND ANGELINA JOLIE BITS

Multi-Billionaire, After A Lifetime of Toil, Expresses Satisfaction at Measurably Increasing Rate of Currency Exchange Equalization

CHUCK NORRIS FINALLY GETS BREAKTHROUGH ACTING ROLE ON TOTAL GYM INFOMERCIAL

White House Hobbies: Senior Administration Economist Great at Sucking Cock

SPECIAL COUNSEL INVESTIGATING WHITE HOUSE UNABLE TO LOCATE ANY STATEMENT OF FACT ABOUT ANYTHING ANYWHERE AT ALL

Disney Movie Unit Removes Teen Poverty

>NASA GETS BIG BUSH MOON BOOST BUT PROHIBITED FROM MENTIONING EVOLUTION

Unusual MIT Mathematics Genius Draws Pretty Good Circle

Ashcroft to Set Up Anti-Terror Colonoscopy Database

Latest Nike Shoe Padding: Ground Toddlers

Severe L.A. Outage Outs 937 Personal Assistants