WWF REPORTS TO UN THAT U.S. WAS NOT READY TO RUMBLE

TWISTED SWISS ARMY WILL ENTER BOTTLE OF IRAQI CHIANTI

DALL SHEEP, LOST IN KANSAS, STANDS FORLORNLY ON TOP OF CAR WASH

Mosquitos Prepare to Suck

Giant Floating Brain From Nebular-7 Forgets Email Password That It Just Typed In 83 Times Last Week

Adolescent's Computer is Actually Used to Study Math

Alan Greenspan Not Sincerely Invited To Party

Manageable Goals Revolutionaries Cast Rude, Ostentatious Diners A Wicked Glance Sharpened By a Broad Understanding of Dialectical Materialism

Coming Up on Headlines: Check Your Policy-The Disclaimer That May Prevent Your Insurance From Covering Events