U.S.: Only Shites and Sunnis Behind Uprising, "Zorastrians of the Willing are Still With Us."

AL Qaeda Begins Chattering Offensive

BUSH ROOMMATE AT YALE: GEORGE EXPERIMENTED WITH THE TRUTH SEVERAL TIMES IN COLLEGE

ISRAELI TROOPS TAKE OUT ICE CREAM STAND WHICH WAS HARBORING TINY FROZEN CHERRY-VANILLA SENIOR HAMAS OFFICIALS

Adorable Kittens Adorablizing Random Pedestrian

Giant Floating Brain From Nebular-7 Irked by 15th Consecutive Lame Cable Offer

SHARON CHASES ARAFAT AROUND AND AROUND TREE WITH A 2x4 WITH A RUSTY NAIL IN IT

RUMSFELD WARNS US TROOPS: "SHOOTING INTO LARGE IRAQI CROWDS APPEARS TO ANGER THEM."

Investors Say 'Yes May I Have Another' as City of Tallahasse Issues $3 mn in Dominatrix Bonds

White House Releases August 2001 PBJ and Glass of Milk

Clear Channel Replacing Howard Stern With Some Uber-Perv in Acquisitions

CONDI RICE SETS CAUSE OF MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE DATELESS FAR RIGHT-WING FEMALE AFRICAN AMERICAN NEO-CONS EMPLOYED IN NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISING INDUSTRY BACK 50 YEARS

VIRTUALLY FORGOTTEN DOT-COM GURU CONTINUES TO RAIL AGAINST BRICK AND MORTAR HOUSING

BUSH LOSING SUPPORT OF NIXON ADMINISTRATION