SECRET AUGUST 2001 PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFING NOTE REVEALED: "RE: AL QAEDA PLANS TO ATTACK- THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON'T JUST LEAVE THIS ON THE EMPTY HO-HO WRAPPERS PILE LIKE BEFORE"

MARKETER FLOATS 'AIR-BRANDING'

NEPALESE VIDEO GAME STORE OWNER WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE NEPALESE-THEMED CAR THEFT GAMES

SNOWMAN CLIMATOLIGIST CLINICALLY DEPRESSED

University of Michigan Study: U.S. Airports Never To Be Completed

University of Robots' Robot Scientists' Year-Long Study of Adorable Kittens Fails to Clear Up Mystery of Cute Widdle Fuzzy-Wuzziness

US Effort in Iraq Now In Sight of Antarctica

Scandal at Giants/Mariners Game as Barry Bonds' Bat Cracks Open and Splashes Anabolic Steroids all over Umpire

Stunning Brazilian Model Bounces Check