Friday, April 16, 2004

  • Responding to a Question About His Most Admired Historical Figures, Bush Names the Famous Bag of Ball-Peen Hammers that Briefly Ruled Latvia in 1622

    Tony Blair Takes Time Out in Conference to Teach Bush Rudimentary English Phrases

    ::::::::::::::::ADORABLE KITTENS SPECIAL REPORT::::::::::::::::


    Adorable Kittens Seize Bathtub in Desparate Attempt to Prevent Owner Moistening

    Reported Missing for Nearly Two Hours, Adorable Kittens are Located Napping in Box of Receipts

    Adorable Kittens Grateful for New Leather Couch to Sharpen Claws On

    Adorable Kitten Reports to Other Adorable Kitten that Hideout Underneath Car in Driveway Appears Safe for Time Being

    :::::::::::::::Further Adorable Kittens Reports as Events Warrant:::::::::::::

    Every Two Years, Hoardes of Little Kids Gather 'Neath the Window of The New York Times, Little Noses Pressed Against the Glass, to Watch the Art Critics Hard At Work Savaging the Whitney Biennial

    Giant Floating Brain from Nebular-7 Forced to Hire Immigration Attorney To Speed Permit Application to Sell Real Estate

    Coming Up on Headlines: Osama Bin Laden and Your Local 7-11 - What is the Connection?