Study: President's Falling Approval Numbers Making A Sound Comparable to Occassions in Which Wile E. Coyote is Suddenly Handed an Anvil

Iraq Situation Disexplained

Phone Description of Fingerprints Leads FBI To Round Up Tulsa Choc-O-Licious Baking Guild

Giant Floating Brain From Nebular-7 Still Unable to Fully Trust E-Ticket Check-In

Plot of "Lord of the Rings" is Re-re-explained to George Bush

Radical Free Ferret Force Frees 5000 Ferrets; Freed Ferrets Ferociously Frolicking Frightens Fifteen Parrots

Gum Industry Lobbyists Move Congress to Declare "Underside of Cafeteria Tables" Week

New York Times Solemnly Regrets Total Butt-Fucking Asslick Reports On Iraq

Coming Up on Headlines: Why the Many Special Sides of You Are All Dangerously Legally Exposed