Justice Scalia Cornered By Bowler-Wearing 30's-era Brooklyn Toughs

GIANT FLOATING BRAIN FROM NEBULAR-7 BEGINS LISTING TO STARBOARD

Bush Retracts Apology to Iraqi Prisoners When Informed that "Apology" Means to "Acknowledge That You Have Done Something Wrong"

Masochists Flooding U.S. Army With Special Requests

U.S. Mercenaries Reported Considering Better Deal With Visigoths

1000 Year-Old Pixie Who Lives in Secret Hollow Down By the Magic Creek Calls For Rumsfeld's Resignation

Under Pressure From Laura, Bush Nearly Finished Mouthing Way Through The Da Vinci Code

Reports Surface that Kim Jong Il Nuked Ft. Wayne, Indianna In January

Misinformed Civil War Re-enactors Sail Modified "General Lee" Dodge Charger Through South China Sea

ATF Cracks Down on Reported Warner Bros. Misuse of Dynamite

Adorable Kitten Chews Mildly on Adorable Kitten's Ear

Manageable Goals Revolutionaries Tie Wal Mart Lobbyist's Shoelaces Together at Zoning Variance Hearing