ACTION IN MADAGASCAR AS PRESSED MEATS VAN COLLIDES WITH MARSHMELLOW CREAM TRUCK

POTATO FLAG UNFURLED, JULIENED

SPRING SUN STRIKES ALASKA, CAUSING MASSIVE WORK EXCUSES

GAY MARRIAGE BICKERING SETS NEW BICKERING STANDARD

DISABLED FROG CLEVERLY ADAPTS TOASTER SPRING

REPORTS CONFIRM ANN COULTER TAKES IT LIKE A MAN

CREDIT CARD COMPANIES CALL IN DEBT, AMERICA BEGINS "NATIONAL YEAR OF WORKING FOR MASTERCARD"

Drunk Drives Hummer to Recycling Station, Is Beaten by Hippies

Zoo Elephant Tired of Bossy Pink Monkeys

Ascots, Blue Blazers Burn as Fear of "Yacht People" Grips Newport Marina