SNOOP DOG CHOKES ON SWIZZLE STICK- SAVED BY GOOD SAMIZZLETAN

PERSISTENT BUT FRUSTRATED, GIANT FLOATING BRAIN FROM NEBULAR-7 TRIES, FAILS AGAIN TO GO UP RUSSIAN HILL

UNAUTHORIZED MIXING OF HUMAN GENE-SPLICED CORN SUSPECTED AS BUTTERED COB STARTS TALKING TRASH

AK 47 Modified to Fire Lozenges Relieves Thousands of Congoans' Sore Throats

Seattle Mariners Try Running Away

Bush Faces Stupidity Charges the Wrong Way

Adorable Kittens Deny Falling Into Aquarium

Growth Spurt Expands 'Little Italy'- Now 'Modest Italy'

Coming Up on Headlines Weather for the U.S. West Coast: Wind Passing Through Tacoma May Stink Up the Whole Place