Friday, June 25, 2004

Clams, Already Not Happy Over Foreign Policy, Began Slow, Squishy March on Washington

A Celebrity First: Jeri Ryan Advances Interests of the Democratic Party By Refusing To Attend Sex Party

Iraq Continues to Be Beset by Hundreds of Thousands of Faithful Muslims

Radical Atkins Cell Blows Up Grape Nuts Plant; Resulting Crunch Collapses Apartment Complex, Injures Dozens

Mother Earth Balling Her Pathetic Hippie Eyes Out

Christianne Amanpour Reports On Adorable Jewish Kitten Nursed to Health By Lebanese Golden Retriever

Iran Got Uranium Enricher off Axis of Evil-Bay

Britney Spears To Marry Herself For Legal Reasons

Coming Up on Headlines Weather: Light Automatic Weapons Fire, Some RPGS in the Early evening. Outlook for Sunday: Don't Forget Your Body Armor!