SPANISH POLICE SEEKING DON QUIXOTE AS WINDMILL TAKEN OUT WITH 4-TONS OF C-4

BOOK OF REVELATIONS MUTUAL FUND UNDERPERFORMING

WHITEHORSE HOSTS DEBUT OF 5000lb LEXUS SNOWMOBILE

As We Speak, Millions of Americans are Standing Around on Carpets

GIRLS AT SALON REPORTED ON VERGE OF MAJOR AGREEMENT

CHENEY COLLECTS $100 FROM RUMSFELD AS PRESIDENT FALLS FOR 'PULL MY FINGER' JOKE 50TH TIME

ROBOT HOOTERS WAITRESS UPGRADED TO DD WD-40

University of Michigan Political Science Study: Enormous Grants to Large Midwest Universities Highly Correlated With Re-Election

Marin Sports Bar Featuring Crew Memorabilia, Additional Whitey Sports

Jumping on Religious Action Bandwagon, Steven Seagal to Film Vengence of Vishnu II

FRESNO MAN MADE UNCOMFORTABLE AS NEBULAR 7 SPACE ALIEN TAKES UP URINAL STALL RIGHT NEXT TO HIM

11 Year-Old Senegalese Girl Excited by Find of Malibu Barbie Which Crossed Atlantic After Careless Abandonment by Floridian Marcie Gunwold During a Tantrum Over an Incomplete Happy Meal in 1987

ADORABLE KITTEN INSERTS HIMSELF FUZZILY ON UPPER BOOKSHELF BETWEEN PRINCIPLES OF INDUSTRIAL DESIGN AND THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD

University of Michigan Study: No U.S. Patience for Complete News Sentences

A-ROD TO NEW YORK IN TRADE FOR STATEN ISLAND

Fairy Princess Lillia, Prosecuting Attorney for Feds in Enron Case, Hits Jeff Skilling With 15 Counts of Being Mr. Frowny Face; May Be Sent to Room W/O Candy

Hope Fades for Willowton Elementary Expedition to the North Pole

Hard Times: Storage Container Company Renting Extra Storage Space for Surplus Storage Containers