FRENCH FRIES PRIME SUSPECT IN DRIVE-THRU CARBO-LOADING
FUNDAMENTALIST BIBLE INTERPRETATION QUESTIONS RAISED AS PAT ROBERTSON TURNED INTO ANTELOPE
DEBEERS ATTACKS NEW ARTIFICIAL HIGH-QUALITY DIAMONDS AS DISRESPECTING LONG-HONORED TRADITIONS OF VIOLENCE, MONOPOLY AND RETALIATORY MUTILATION IN THE DIAMOND TRADE
BBC REPORTS EXTENSIVELY ON TONY BLAIR'S INEXHAUSTABLE PERSONAL CHARISMA
KERRY SLIGHTLY PUT OUT BY VEHEMENCE OF AFFAIR DENIAL BY ATTRACTIVE 27-YEAR OLD REPORTER
SNOOP DOG SHILLSHIZZLING FOR RADIO SHACK
AT NASCAR, BUSH ASKS ABOUT THE KIND OF TRAINING USED FOR THE HIGH-SPEED CHAUFFEURING
Unemployed Chinese Communist Seriously Pissed Off
Tech Employees Replaced by Indian Specialists; CEO Replaced By Tape Recorder With Huge Bank Account
Adorable Kittens Reporting More Birds in the Yard
Young Evolutionary Biology Professor Challenging Older, Dominant Full Professor for Research Assistants
Newsome Gay Marriage Move Simultaneously Courageous and Pandering
TOP SCIENTISTS EXPLORE OUTSOURCING AMERICAN CARBOHYDRATES
Toby Keith Hit: "We Love to Beat Up Puppies"
Small Children Hatch Secret Candy Factory Plot
Economics Mathematician Demonstrates Conclusively that Milk Prices are Fixed Shortly Before He is Kicked Out of the Grocery Store