Brief View of Janet Jackson's Nipple Causing Moral Pandemonium in U.S. as Churches Looted, Children Guzzle Tequilla, Women Nationwide Strip Naked Unprompted in Public and Men Sex Up Anything in A Skirt

Howard Dean Thinks Idly of Other Things He Might Have Done with $41 Million

Superbowl Officials Awarded Special Emmy for Offering First Known Entertaining Half-Time Show

Getting Jump on Inevitable Trends, Ford to Unveil New Luxury Robot Somalian-Built Chrysler With Interior Basketball Court

IN MOMENTARY PANIC, ADORABLE KITTENS SHOOT STRAIGHT FOR THE PAPER BAG ON THE FLOOR

BUSH DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT HE DID FOR 18 MONTHS IN 1972

Doctors Caught in Probe Flagrante

Oscar Wilde, Animated From Death By Thinking of Incredibly Witty Remark, Zombies His Way into Tony Blair Dinner But Muffs the Delivery When Distracted By a Delicious Fajita