Wednesday, March 10, 2004

PRIMAL SHRUG THERAPIST INDICTED IN MASSIVE INDIFFERENCE SCAM

No End For 90 Year Strike: Disenchanted Birds Will Continue Nationwide Airport Runway Picketing

"OVER-RUSHED" HALT ON UCLA CADAVER PARTS SALES CRITICIZED BY AMERICANS FOR SENSIBLE MEAT ALTERNATIVES

BALSAMIC VINEGAR, MUSLIN AND GLUE GUN SHIPMENTS TO NEW YORK FEDERAL PRISON INCREASE

Adorable Kittens Eschew Garbage Can Tipping Culpability

University of Michigan Study: 96% of U.S. Chicken Feed Ends Up as Chicken Shit

KERRY DEFEATS THE LATE PAUL TSONGAS, STILL ON THE DEMOCRATIC BALLOT IN TEXAS

Manageable Goals Revolutionaries Glue all the Teak Lumber at Home Depot Together

Tadpole Advocacy Groups Demand Separate Juvenile Detention Ponds

American Communist Party Reports 27% Bump in Bush Era Membership

Little Girl's Daydream of Cute Bunnies Complicated by Unexplained Encroachment of Inebriated Mayor McCheese