FELLED BY AN INCREASINGLY DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO AVOID INSTITUTING TAXES, ALASKA GOV MURKOWSKI NABBED AT MEXICAN BORDER WITH 200 KILOS OF COKE

TODDLER RESISTS BRUTAL COMMODIFICATION OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE BY TOSSING BEARER BOND IN TOIDY

Adorable Kittens Use Claws to Chase Each Other Up Large Reubens

FT. WAYNE INSURANCE AGENT FRUSTRATED BY LACK OF OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW OFF EXCEPTIONAL SPELLING SKILLS

Office Max Stocker who Deliberately Put Red Sharpie Packages On Black Sharpie Pegs Told "You Have Signed Your Own Death Warrant"

AILING MALL REMODELED TOO LATE

PRANK DELIVERING 200 PIZZAS TO KIM JONG IL RESULTS IN IMPRISONMENT OF 14, EXECUTION OF DELIVERY BOY, DESTABILIZATION OF RELATIONS WITH SOUTH, AND WASTE OF NORTH KOREA'S ENTIRE SUPPLY OF OREGANO