Wednesday, December 22, 2004

PENTAGON: REAL NORTH KOREAN MISSLE WOULD HAVE BECOME DISHEARTENED BY DAZZLING ANTI-MISSILE TECHNOLOGY AND CRASHED HARMLESSLY INTO THE NORTH PACIFIC

Bellevue Bakery Offers "Choco-Late Christmas Shopping" In Desperate Bid to Pay of $613K in Mob Gambling Debts

RUMSFELD RELENTLESS IN LOBBYING OSCAR COMMITTEE ON BEHALF OF JENNIFER LOPEZ IN "GIGLI"

ULTRA-DEEP OFFSHORE OIL RIG BREAKS THROUGH TO AUSTRALIAN FRENCH FRY VAT

COMPANY PULLS BULGING, THROBBING, SWEATY PRECIOUS MOMENTS CHARACTER

Giant Floating Brain from Nebular-7 Gets that Not-So-Fresh Hippocampus Feeling


Zombie Sinatra Smacks Around Some Ghost Punk Who Thinks He's Somebody's Ghost

Several Caramelized as Explosion in Milky Way Factory Rains Nougat on Hundreds

Adorable Kittens Perceive Weakness of Puppy, Pounce

Coming Up on Headlines Weather: Is Your House Asteroid Blast-Proofed?