Donald Rumsfeld Continues to Insist that 'Star Wars: The Phantom Menace' Is Clearly The Best of the Entire 'Star Wars' Series

Richard the Third Offers Kingdom for Appropriate Ink Jet Cartridge

Panel of Conservative Economists Agree that the Economy is Best Stimulated By Massive Federal Tax Cuts and Transfer Payments to Conservative Economists

Government Animal Survey Predicts Adorable Kittens Will Snuggle

Secular Jewish Family's Christmas Ham Tradition Subjected to In-Law Scrutiny

Cute French Bulldog Exasperated By American Diplomatic Intransigence

University of Michigan Study of Laptop Computers: Dangerous For Men and Their Testicles, But Appropriate For Women and Even Pleasureable, With Simple Attachments

Blue State on Red Alert

EPA Proposes Outlawing Endangered Species

Teen Fails to Approximate Sexual Experience With Couch Pillow

Manageable Goals Revoltionaries Let Air out of Extended Cab Pickup's Tires

Today's AlarmingHeadlines Weather Forecast: Magma-y