I'm Telling You, It's the News. FORMERLY TODAY'S TOMORROWS HEADLINES MORE MADE-UP HEADLINES THAN THE ONION AND FOX NEWS COMBINED VOTED BY ROBOTS AND ADORABLE KITTENS THE 45th MOST POPULAR BLOG IN SEATTLE. AKA Today's Urgent Headlines Today Copyright 2004-2007 all rights reserved
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Elementary School Contemporary Art Project
Recontextualizes Unpopular 3rd Grader
Best Buy Complete Home Entertainment System Customer Suddenly Struck By Intense, Generalized Loathing
Angry Tacoma Potato, Accused of Comestic Violence, Shot By Cops in Eye
Adminstration Vows to Build "Arsenal of Incredulity"
Grandmother Confused By Reports That Scott Petersen Is Sentenced to Death by Weasel Injection
Mike Holgren Reportedly Able to Cook White Rice in Less Than Five Minutes Just By Swallowing It
Unhappy Lumberjack Recalls Childhood Beating With 130 Foot White Spruce, Leaving Permanent Spars
Golf Channel Even Boring People Watching Adjacent Channels
Iraqi Teenager Won Over to Freedom By Slightly Ironic Old Navy Ad
Pledge Drive Running Out of Ways to Kiss Up to Seniors, Promises to Have Charlie Rose Personally Kick Children off Lawn
Anna Nicole Smith Awarded Medal of Questionable Use of Freedom
Brilliant Visual Trick Wasted and Forgotten on Phone Commercial
Boiling Outrage Over Neighborhood Speeding May Spark Letter To Editor
That 9th Shot of Tequila To Result in Child Support
As Sun Sets On Congo Can Conglomorate, Robots Rejoice in Reykjavik
Coming Up on Slapstick Headlines: Why Your Family and Their Heads are At Increased Risk From Open Cupboard Doors