Tuesday, December 14, 2004

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Elementary School Contemporary Art Project
Recontextualizes Unpopular 3rd Grader

Best Buy Complete Home Entertainment System Customer Suddenly Struck By Intense, Generalized Loathing

Angry Tacoma Potato, Accused of Comestic Violence, Shot By Cops in Eye

Adminstration Vows to Build "Arsenal of Incredulity"

Grandmother Confused By Reports That Scott Petersen Is Sentenced to Death by Weasel Injection

Mike Holgren Reportedly Able to Cook White Rice in Less Than Five Minutes Just By Swallowing It

Unhappy Lumberjack Recalls Childhood Beating With 130 Foot White Spruce, Leaving Permanent Spars

Golf Channel Even Boring People Watching Adjacent Channels

Iraqi Teenager Won Over to Freedom By Slightly Ironic Old Navy Ad

Pledge Drive Running Out of Ways to Kiss Up to Seniors, Promises to Have Charlie Rose Personally Kick Children off Lawn

Anna Nicole Smith Awarded Medal of Questionable Use of Freedom

Brilliant Visual Trick Wasted and Forgotten on Phone Commercial

Boiling Outrage Over Neighborhood Speeding May Spark Letter To Editor

That 9th Shot of Tequila To Result in Child Support

As Sun Sets On Congo Can Conglomorate, Robots Rejoice in Reykjavik

Coming Up on Slapstick Headlines: Why Your Family and Their Heads are At Increased Risk From Open Cupboard Doors