IRAN ELECTIONS FAVOR MODERATE SOCIAL DECAPITATION PARTY OVER CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN DISEMBOWLING PARTY

Release of Captive Donuts Into the Wild Cheers Wolf Cops

Physicists Hypothesize Newly Discovered Anti-Anti Matter
is Strangely Not Pro-Matter

Review: Symphony Composed By Admittedly Talented Baby Predicatably Builds on Repeated Crying, Goo-Gooing Phrases

Rumsfeld Insists Styx Cassettes Are An Appropriate Pre-Teen Birthday Gift

Controversy Brews Over Seattle Plan to Replace
Sections of I-90 With New Blimpway

Barrista Taints Bill O'Reilly's Latte With Small Amount of Disgusting Raspberry Flavoring

OPINION: And I so I Apologize Again, But After 30 days Adrift in the Pacific in a Self-Inflating Raft, the Waterbed Just Seemed like Extra Weight

Coming Up on Headlines: Why the Real Estate Bubble in California May Burst Due to Geologic Rather Than Market Forces