I'm Telling You, It's the News. FORMERLY TODAY'S TOMORROWS HEADLINES MORE MADE-UP HEADLINES THAN THE ONION AND FOX NEWS COMBINED VOTED BY ROBOTS AND ADORABLE KITTENS THE 45th MOST POPULAR BLOG IN SEATTLE. AKA Today's Urgent Headlines Today Copyright 2004-2007 all rights reserved
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Groton, CN: U.S. Navy Experimenting With 200 HP Female Condom
WALMART HEIR'S BODY BURIED, INCLUDING 5000 ASSOCIATES
Commander Numbnuts Sensitive To Coarse Remarks
IGNORING SCHEDULING REQUESTS, BUSH FINDS UNIBROW REGROWING
Wobbly News Satellite Sends Back Unusually Ambigious Commentary
Dick Cheney Strangles Hippy Puppy
CARGO SHIP M/V NEPTUNE'S DAUGHTER SAVES ITSELF FROM WATERY DOOM BY UNLOADING 400 CONTAINERS OF EXTRA ABSORBENT PAPER TOWELS AT KEY MOMENT
Investigators Peg Small Boy Whose Repeated Beachside Shennanigans May Have Caused Deadly Tsunami
Bat, Wombat Represent
Adorable Kittens Stare at Postman
01000101001011100010010 Defeats Truman
Hiker Fleeing Ferocious Bear Run Over By Cement Mixer
OPINION: You Think You Run the Tacoma Best Buy Laptop Accessories Department, But Mister You Have No Idea
Officer Stripped of Rank Amateurism