Wardrobe Malfunction Releases White Witch into Superbowl Crowd

Crazy Street Man Study: Orders from Celine Dion Song to Burn Down a Fred Meyer Create Obvious Conflict With Previous Instructions From Mind-Reading CIA Bats

Pieces "Simply Fall Off" as Dick Cheney Reportedly Wearing Out His Lego "Middle East"

Attractive Blond College Girl Is Reported Missing From CNN

In Non Peer-Reviewed Research Incident, An Intelligent Design Scientist Crawls into Cage, Is Beaten By Gorilla

Hygenic Physicists Back "Floss Theory"

Coming Up on Headlines: The Bird Flu- And Many More Reasons to Hate Birds