Tom Delay Crushed To Death By 15 Ton Total Ethical Collapse

Monsters From the ID Sue Makers of Zoloft

Chicken Adjusted To Reduce Wear

Adorable Kittens Suddenly, Horrifically Turn Back on Longstanding Vole Friendship

Florida Man Allows Carrot in Fridge to Quietly Shrivel Up

Cut Loose By Federal Program, Van Gogh's Potato Eaters Run Out of Ketchup

WALMART TO OFFER HEAVILY DISCOUNTED COCK

ANWR Tundra Already Napalmed to Save Time And Possible Regulatory Delay

Billionaire Receiving $48 million in Rebates Now Three Times as Happy as Under Old Tax Plan

NASCAR ORGANIZATION CONDEMNS GENERAL IGNORANCE

Thai Restaraunt Group Denounces Club Sandwich


Despicable Bottom-Dwelling Life-Sucking Whore of a Marketing Fuckface Finds Peace Driving New Jetta

AMA Floats Optional Patient Indenture

Student Completes History Paper; No Casualties

Preacher: Get That Whore Wagon Out of My Freaking Pew