Condi Rice Attempts to Charm EU Meeting With Provocative "Fan" Dance

Giant Floating Brain From Nebular 7 Embarassed, Injured After Slipping on a Banana and Tumbling Down Stairs, Finally Rolling to a Wobbly Stop Seven Blocks Later in Front of a Tacoma IHOP

GAO Review Uncovers 1971 "Vietnamization" Memo, Apparantly Mixed Up in Wolfowitz Office With Invasion Plan for Iraq

As a Child Mourns, City Leaders Reflect on Decison to Locate Doggy Day Care Next to Unscrupulous Rendering Plant

Brain Rapidly Filling With Somewhat Incorrect Facts

Tom Delay Denies Accepting '78 El Camino From Crack Lobby

Oncoming Late 80's Fashion Revival, Will, Repeat Will, Pretend Parachute
Pants Never Occurred

Dennis Miller Admitted For Snidectomy

House Plant Fuming

Rumseld Insists "Happy Days" Improved Significantly After Departure of Fonzie

Liberace's Ghost Haunts Rhinestone Mine

Shopping Network Forced to Accept Advertising

Weather Likely To Be Factor In Rain

Additionally, Dick Cheney Attempts to Charm EU Meeting With Provocative "Fan" Dance