Gliteratti 'Literal'
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NEBRASKA REPORTED MISSING

GOTH TEENS INCITE HOT TOPIC WORKERS' REVOLUTION

A.A.R.P. INSISTS BUSH GET OFF THE LAWN

National Gingivitis Association Prepared to Fight Gum Control

U.S. Postal Service Orders 50 Cent to Increase Himself to 54 Cent as of June 30th

Girlfriend Says '87 Corolla Wagon "Mildly Improved" By Sheepskin Seatcover, Not "Pimped"

Vatican: Holy Spirit Taking Zoloft

Gen. Augusto Pinochet Receives Coupon for Free 1-Topping Pizza With Purchase of A Pizza of Equal or Lesser Value

University of Michigan Reports Behavior of Psychology Students Dangerously Over-Studied

Lemur Unswayed

Report: Paul Wolfowitz Pledge to Reduce Poverty Draws Heavily on Jonathon Swift Proposal*

Adorable Kittens Mesmerized By Flossing

"Internet Explorer" Re-Named "Microsoft Virus Bag XP"

University of Robots Robot Scientists Robot Sociology Report Reports Robot Nightmates of Ctrl-Alt-Delete More Common Than Once Computed

View of Young Woman's Impressive Decolletage Ruined by Inexpensive Christian Jewelry

Latest Finding: Seasoned Olive Oil Overated

Poll of Elderly American Moderates Reveals 51% Involuntarily Slapping Selves in Head

Fading Seattle Rock Star Pays Expert to Keep Bass Meticulously in Tune

Biker Leaves Crank Stash in Other Pants

*Caution: Some Headline Jokes May Require Liberal Arts Education