Monday, February 25, 2008

ECONOMY LOOKING FORWARD TO STIMULUS PACKAGE, CANDLELIT DINNER


DICK CHENEY EXPECTED TO EMERGE FROM HIBERNATION SUNDAY, HUNGRY AND IRRITABLE


STUDY: FURTHER STUDY WOULD JUST CONFUSE THINGS


FUNERAL OF MAN WITH 763 MYSPACE FRIENDS NETS 3 PALLBEARERS



GHOSTS IN GHOST CRUISE SHIP HAVE SOMEHOW GAINED WEIGHT


NEO-DRUID CASTS CURSE-SPELL ON RENT-TO-OWN FURNITURE MANAGER


ECONOMIST, BIOLOGIST, CLIMATOLOGIST ALL FAIL TO REASSURE EACH OTHER


LOW-SELF ESTEEM ARCHITECT DESIGNS WORLD'S MOST BEIGE BUILDING


GOOGLE PULLS OUT OF ILL-ADVISED ENTRY INTO PANCAKE BATTER MARKET



IN TODAY'S URGENT HEADLINES OPINION, BY DICK MORRIS: "MY OPINION HAS BEEN CANCELED DUE TO AN OVERDRAFT"