ENDANGERED SPECIES BEGIN TAKING UP EXTREME SPORTS

NORTH KOREANS INSTRUCTED TO LAUGH AT HILARIOUS "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" INTERNET CRAZE OF 2001

TACO SUPREME COURT ISSUES SOUR CREAM RULING

ADORABLE KITTEN TORTURES SPIDER IN ORDER TO FIGHT TERRORISM

MAGIC KINGDOM CLIMATE CHANGE WILL BRING INCREASED PERIODS OF SADNESS

UGLY MAN URGED TO SHOP ONLINE

EXXON HEADQUARTERS PLUMBING AGAIN CLOGGED WITH WADS OF MOIST CASH

HUNGRY UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS USE STEM CELLS TO MAKE CHICKEN BREAST

JERSEY CRIME SYNDICATE HIRES ALBERTO GONZALES TO FORGET ABOUT IT

COMING UP ON URGENT HEADLINES WEATHER: VINDICTIVE HAIL