VA Tech Student Clara Littleton Poses With "Awesome" Patriotic Sculpture by Karl Rove

Karl Rove Wows Crowds at State Fair Carving Patriotic Eagle Sculptures in Butter

Robot Politician Nabbed in Sex Scandal With 1500 HP Self-Propelled Compactor

AFL-CIO Loses SEIU, Gains NFL, ABC, and AOL

Mint Farm Gets Fresh Subsidies

Starbucks Blimp Cafe Will Tap Wide Open Unused Airspace Coffee Market

Attempted Tryst Fails With Card Rejections at Motel 6 Check-In Counter

Kuwait Adopts Dust Bunny as National Symbol

Artist Traps Escaping Mouse With 8 Foot Nude Painting (True!)

Bush Crashes Bicycle into Stray Homo Habilis

Today's Tomorrow's Headlines:
Patriotic as Eagle Butter