Friday, September 05, 2008

MCCAIN SEEN WANDERING AROUND PHARMACY ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY KNOW WHERE HE LIVES


TABLOID SAYS THEY HAVE 78 SECOND RACHEL RAY SEX TAPE


MAN AFFECTS OWN LIFE


FAMED NOVELIST OUT OF WINDEX


ADORABLE KITTENS MEET FOR CUTE CONVENTION


IRAN DEVELOPING LASER BURKA


BILL CLINTON SEEN AT DENVER POOL HALL, HUSTLING BETS


UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCIENTISTS DISCOVER GENE WHICH CAUSES SLIGHT ANNOYANCE AT APPARENT WASTE OF PRECIOUS SCIENCE RESOURCES


PORTLAND CYCLIST SURVIVES CRASH ONLY TO BE KILLED BY PACK OF ENRAGED HYENAS


CARMEN SANDIEGO CAPTURED AFTER WORLD-WIDE SEARCH; WILL BE CHARGED WITH WAR CRIMES


IN A TODAY'S URGENT HEADLINES WEATHER: APOCALYPTIC-Y