LOUISIANA ARRESTS GOD
GOD'S ATTORNEY DERSHOWITZ POINTS TO WRATH OF NEPTUNE
Crisis Spurs Exploratory Drilling in Ann Coulter's Pants
Estimate: $100 Billion To Return Whitey To The Moon
Adorable Kitteens Flee New Orleans
Unemployed Lumberjacks Felling Shrubbery
Cheney Pushes "Endanger Species" Act
Texas Family Trapped as Hummer Too Embarassing to Drive
Moose Tramples Chuck E. Cheese Actor In Front of Terrified Yet Giggling Children
Robot Scientists from University of Robots Urge Immediate Action to Replace Incompetent Federal Officials With Qualified Robots
Coming Up on Headlines: Storm of Administration Incompetence at Category 5 on the Brownie Scale