SUMMER THEATER PRODUCTION OF "TERMINATOR III" SENDS 18 TO HOSPITAL

PARIS JACKS IPOD IN DESPERATE METH GAMBIT

UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STUDY: DYING SPECIES ALSO RUNNING UP HUGE CREDIT CARD DEBTS

CONTROVERSY AS ROBOT CELEBRITY ADOPTS SEATTLE BABY

"GEOMETRIC STRESS" ON TOSSERS BLAMED AS NON-EUCLIDIAN-SHAPED PIZZA SHOP CLOSES

TEEN ANGEL SUFFERS GHOST ZITS

STUDY: HDTV INCREASING AWARENESS OF POOR QUALITY TELEVISION

I.T. GUY UNABLE TO REBOOT BIRCH STICK

INDUSTRY DEFENDS LOW-LEVEL RADIOACTIVE WASTE IN DORITOS PROJECT AS FRITO-LAY ATTEMPTS TO EXPLAIN RECIPE FOR INTENSE ORANGE COLOR

BUSH SIGNING STATEMENT UNVEILED: "AS PRESIDENT, I REALLY SHOULD KNOW WHAT THIS BILL IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT"

INFLUENTIAL MAGICAL FAIRY RESIGNS FROM DEFENSE DEPARTMENT

50 YEARS ON, MABELINE ISSUES PRESS STATEMENT ON WHY SHE COULDN'T BE TRUE AND WENT BACK TO DOING THE THINGS SHE USED TO DO