LOUISIANA ARRESTS GOD

GOD'S ATTORNEY DERSHOWITZ POINTS TO WRATH OF NEPTUNE

Crisis Spurs Exploratory Drilling in Ann Coulter's Pants

Estimate: $100 Billion To Return Whitey To The Moon

Adorable Kitteens Flee New Orleans

Unemployed Lumberjacks Felling Shrubbery

Cheney Pushes "Endanger Species" Act

Texas Family Trapped as Hummer Too Embarassing to Drive

Moose Tramples Chuck E. Cheese Actor In Front of Terrified Yet Giggling Children

Robot Scientists from University of Robots Urge Immediate Action to Replace Incompetent Federal Officials With Qualified Robots

Coming Up on Headlines: Storm of Administration Incompetence at Category 5 on the Brownie Scale